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I don’t even know how to start this article. Like, it feels like I need some sort of preamble here where I reflect on the year as a whole before focusing in on the games I played? That seems like a sensible and correct way to write something like this. But I mean… what the fuck do you even say about 2020 at this point that hasn’t already been said over and over again? People have been talking about what a crazy year it’s been since at least, what, April? March? There really isn’t a novel observation to be made…


First, play the video game ‘Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice’…

Scenes from the video game “Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice”
Photo: Activision

Great Shinobi Owl is one of the more challenging bosses in the popular video game Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. Not only is he fast and powerful, but he has a whole host of devious tricks he can surprise you with. Don’t worry though, with a little bit of practice and the help of this walkthrough, you’ll beat him in no time flat!

Owl is one of the first characters you’re introduced to in Sekiro. He appears on an old battlefield full of rotting corpses, where he finds a small orphan scavenging for the swords of dead soldiers. After some consideration…


Spoilers ahoy for the entirety of Kentucky Route Zero.

So. Kentucky Route Zero is finished, and I’m finished with it. I cried while I played Act V, a few tears escaping here and there all throughout before the final setpiece left me sobbing. My head’s buzzing with thoughts about this game, which I’ve been obsessed with since 2013, and I’m dying to write something about it.

It’s kind of hard to know what to write though, is the thing. People way smarter than me have said just about everything I’d want to say about Kentucky Route Zero, and they’ve done…


How the fuck is it already December again.

It’s become kind of cliché to say that a given year felt longer than it actually was. I dunno why so many people, me included, seem to agree that 2018 felt like it took about a decade to get through. Maybe it’s a bunch of us gettin’ older and experiencing a change in our perception of time. Maybe it’s that the world seems to constantly get both stranger and worse, and that leads to things feeling more drawn out. …


Spoilers ahoy for the entirety of Control.

The opening 30 minutes of Control are really strong. It presents you with new concept after new concept, each of which sparks a whole load of questions and ideas about what direction the story might be taking. “Who’s Jesse talking to when she uses the second person? Is she talking to me? Is this a thing like Zach from Deadly Premonition? What the hell is the deal with this janitor? Why’d Trench kill himself? Why are ‘archetypical objects’ banned from The Oldest House? Hey, why is it called The Oldest House? …


This is the ninth and, for the foreseeable future, final article in a series I’ve written about playing every Kingdom Hearts game for the first time. You can find links to the previous articles here. This piece contains spoilers for the entire Kingdom Hearts franchise, up through Kingdom Hearts III.

Hey, hi, how’s it goin’.

You doin’ okay? Gettin’ enough sleep? Drinking enough water? It’s really important to drink enough water.

Tell ya what. Take a moment and go pour yourself a glass of water. While you’re up, maybe do some stretches or something.

…Is this joke condescending? When I…


This is the… hold on, lemme get a calculator… 8th article in a series I’m writing about playing every Kingdom Hearts game for the first time. You can find links to the rest of the articles here. This piece contains spoilers for the entire Kingdom Hearts franchise up through the Kingdom Hearts χ… family? of games. There’s also technically a minor spoiler for Kingdom Hearts III.

Buh.

Buhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

What if instead of thinking about this game ever again I just laid down on the floor forever?

Alright. Alright. I guess let’s fuckin’… get this over with.

When I started this…


This is the 5th point five and/or 7th point five entry — for fuck’s sake — in a series of articles I’m writing about playing every Kingdom Hearts game for the first time. You can find links to the rest of the articles in this series here. This piece contains spoilers for every Kingdom Hearts game up through Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth By Sleep -A fragmentary passage-.

I had a fucking Kingdom Hearts dream the other night.

Axel was at my house, and I don’t know if he’d turned back into Lea or what, but for some reason he’d lost…


This is the 7th article in a series about playing every Kingdom Hearts game for the first time. You can find links to the other pieces here. This article contains spoilers for every Kingdom Hearts game up through Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance.

God, I can’t believe I’ve played seven of these freakin’ games.

Well, okay, I guess to be fair I’ve only “played” five of them — mm, no, hold on, I’ve “only” “played” five of them — ehhhhhh, if you count The World Ends With You, I’ve “only” “played” “five” of them — but even in the cases…


This is the… ith? entry in a series I’m writing about playing through every Kingdom Hearts game for the first time. You can find links to the rest of the articles, which are actually about Kingdom Hearts, here. This article contains spoilers for The World Ends With You, and might contain spoilers for the Kingdom Hearts series up through Re:coded? I actually don’t remember.

I’ve heard that the cast of The World Ends with You shows up in Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance, soooooo, I figured that if I wanted to have the context necessary to really discuss that game…

Luke

Dumb words.

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